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Home » Fembot Experiments, Get-Togethers

Feminist Oscar Party Commentary

Submitted by on February 25, 2012 – 1:16 pm 4 Comments

20.40 - kristenjamaya

Night!

20.39 - racqueljgates

And we made it to the end, y’all. Thanks for tuning in!

20.37 - kristenjamaya

Harvey Weinstein ain’t nothing to play with.

20.36 - racqueljgates

And The Artist wins Best Picture. Shocking. :-/

20.31 - racqueljgates

I do, too.

20.31 - kristenjamaya

HAAAA. I love Meryl. So much. I just love her.

20.29 - racqueljgates

Sigh.

20.29 - kristenjamaya

If she wins, I’ll be mad.

20.28 - racqueljgates

Oh yeah, I forgot that Michelle Williams was nominated.

20.27 - kristenjamaya

I’m torn between Meryl and Viola. If either of them won, I wouldn’t be upset.

20.26 - kristenjamaya

I tell you what, if Rooney Mara wins an Oscar I will hulksmash all the glass in my house.

20.26 - racqueljgates

And then there’s this Rooney chick…

 

20.25 - kristenjamaya

If Colin Firth were talking about me, I would stroke out.

20.24 - racqueljgates

Ok, I really need Viola Davis to win this. Like, for real.

20.24 - kristenjamaya

The Artist is definitely racking up. I’m kinda glad.

20.19 - racqueljgates

I liked the Artist, but it does feel like The Academy is congratulating itself tonight.

20.13 - racqueljgates

Where’s Mo’Nique?

20.11 - racqueljgates

“If I get to see myself onscreen, then I know that I exist.” That’s pretty tragic, y’all.

20.03 - racqueljgates

In Memoriam section. Damn.

19.48 - kristenjamaya

But they ain’t been asked to do shiznit related to hosting. Ain’t nothing to lose. Don’t do penis jokes. That’s dumb.

19.47 - racqueljgates

Because they know that Chris Rock got downgraded from host to presenter. Mama’s gotta work.

19.45 - kristenjamaya

I mean, why can’t they come out like Chris Rock and talk about patriarchy like Rock talked about race?

19.45 - kristenjamaya

It’s just like…come on now: we take shots and talk about penises. This is what we want.

19.43 - racqueljgates

Apparently we do if we want to be relevant.

 

19.42 - kristenjamaya

We don’t have to always talk about the dudes do we? To be funny we don’t have to?

19.41 - kristenjamaya

I mean, there’s something else we can talk about outside of penises, right? There is. There’s gotta be.

19.39 - racqueljgates

I have no comment on that short film bit.

 

19.37 - kristenjamaya

Milla Jovovich: why are YOU at the Oscars? Hmm..

19.31 - kristenjamaya

Is it bad that I crush on Ed Norton? Cause I do. GABBY! What’s happening with your hair?

19.29 - kristenjamaya

Alexander Payne took ALL them people’s time. RUDE.

19.28 - racqueljgates

Referring to someone as “a beautiful Hawaiian flower” is weird.

 

19.26 - kristenjamaya

She’s trying to be SEXAAAY. And her leg must hurt.

19.25 - kristenjamaya

Cut to Brad. Angelina trying to get some IN PUBLIC.

19.25 - racqueljgates

What is Angie doing?

19.20 - kristenjamaya

You know, what the hell is this foolishness?

19.18 - kristenjamaya

I’m not sure if it’s funny or not. But I giggled a little.

19.17 - racqueljgates

Why they gotta clown the rap song? (sideye)

19.16 - racqueljgates

Is this cymbals bit funny? I feel like I’m so starved for amusement that I’ve lost all perspective.

19.16 - kristenjamaya

2 hours folks. We’re at two hours.

19.15 - racqueljgates

Wait, you can just ask for more time? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY THINK OF THAT BEFORE?

 

19.15 - kristenjamaya

I’m out of drink again. And I’m almost out of cake.

19.13 - kristenjamaya

Everytime I see Owen Wilson I grab my chest and go “awwwww.”

19.10 - kristenjamaya

Tom Sherak cannot read without emphasizing every OTHER WORD.

19.10 - kristenjamaya

Why don’t we blame Brett Ratner and split the difference?

19.08 - racqueljgates

I don’t blame Billy for making me suffer through this. I blame Eddie.

19.08 - kristenjamaya

He’s so past the point of relevance.

19.08 - racqueljgates

Geez, Billy Crystal is just awful.

19.06 - kristenjamaya

This sounds like the music from The Cutting Edge. I loved that movie.

19.04 - racqueljgates

Is that Pharell?

19.02 - kristenjamaya

Max Von Sydow, I love you. Christopher Plummer, I love you. Jonah Hill, you didn’t lose weight for this.

19.01 - racqueljgates

Can you be a bit more specific?

 

18.30 - kristenjamaya

I don’t know if you’ve been counting but I’ve seen at least two handfuls of black people tonight. Is that a record?

18.29 - racqueljgates

You know, it’s going to be be perversely delicious if Hugo wins every award except for Best Director.

18.29 - kristenjamaya

I am sure Hugo is a lovely little film but damn. Oh but this big old man is about to cry. That’s cute.

18.28 - racqueljgates

Hugo again?

18.28 - racqueljgates

Oh for the love of god.

18.28 - kristenjamaya

It’s not time for a commercial break yet? Christ Jesus. Really? I need to refill my glass.

18.27 - kristenjamaya

YES. This man prepared a nice little think you. And damn, Tina and Bradley are still up? Enough.

18.27 - racqueljgates

What are these people talking about?

18.26 - kristenjamaya

Drive should have won. You know why? Cause it was GOOD. Damit. #offmysoapbox

18.26 - racqueljgates

Ok, Hugo was not all that.

18.25 - kristenjamaya

Rooney, I don’t like you. You just make me feel all….Ugghh.

18.25 - racqueljgates

I can’t stand when people don’t prepare a speech.

18.24 - kristenjamaya

Um, I didn’t watch this movie. I was content with the original. Mkay. Thanks.

18.24 - racqueljgates

I’ma need Tina to do better.

 

18.23 - kristenjamaya

There’s Bradley Cooper and his I’m not the sexiest man alive mustache. And I’m gonna be quiet on Tina cause I know y’all love her.

18.22 - kristenjamaya

Must we shout out to every thing tonight Billy Crystal!?

18.21 - racqueljgates

Well, that was dumb.

18.21 - kristenjamaya

You know, I enjoy the Christopher Guest scenes. But I feel like we don’t have time for this.

18.20 - kristenjamaya

Not well at all. But he’s friends with Whoopi so I guess it’s okay.

18.19 - racqueljgates

Newsflash: Billy Crystal doesn’t do racial humor well.

18.18 - kristenjamaya

Girl, that was my homecoming hair style. Tracks and all!

18.18 - kristenjamaya

Have y’all recovered from Christian Bale yet? I haven’t.

18.17 - racqueljgates

I wore that hairstyle to my junior prom.

 

18.15 - kristenjamaya

For the record I kind of love and hate Octavia’s french roll. I mean it’s very culturally specific but I think there is far too much Pump it Up in her hair.

18.14 - racqueljgates

I wonder why the audience gave her a standing ovation? I mean, I love her, but I wonder what they think they’re applauding?

18.13 - kristenjamaya

And she won! Good for her. And I appreciate that she didn’t fall back this time. Y’all saw when she slipped and went backwards last weekend.

The standing ovation: Hollywood congratulate yourself on your accomplishment.

18.13 - racqueljgates

I’m Viola Davis’ character (on a good day).

 

18.12 - racqueljgates

(at least Octavia’s clip didn’t include her eating fried chicken)

18.12 - racqueljgates

YAY!!!!!!!

18.12 - kristenjamaya

Gates,  you asked me but I”m going to ask you: if you had to choose, Octavia or Viola?

18.11 - racqueljgates

In a good or bad way?

18.11 - kristenjamaya

If Melissa McCarthy wins, I’ll pee myself.

18.10 - kristenjamaya

Oh goodness here we go. Best supporting actress.

18.10 - racqueljgates

Christian Bale = British Jesus

18.10 - racqueljgates

Octavia…Octavia…Octavia…

 

18.10 - kristenjamaya

I don’t care if it’s wrong or right. I love me some Bale. I love him. And I want him to love me back.

18.08 - kristenjamaya

Sandra, your Madonna “Express Yourself” hairdo is distracting me.

18.06 - kristenjamaya

As I’ve said elsewhere, there is some evil tree root crawling around Sandra Bullock who wants to grab her and pull her into the ground. Her eyelids are the first victim.

18.05 - kristenjamaya

As I was saying  before the devil got into our details: Get the easy awards out the way that don’t matter I guess. And Hugo wins two in a row. And that man totally left his wife who kicked off her shoes cause she thought she’d have an hour to wait. HAAA lady.

18.04 - racqueljgates

Our snark crashed the site.

17.44 - racqueljgates

This man’s hair, tie, and shirt are all the same color.

17.43 - kristenjamaya

Oh man…That dude who won is just simply too easy to make fun of. GANDALF?! IS THAT YOU??

17.42 - kristenjamaya

What do you mean? HE CELEBRATED THEM GATES. HE MADE THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES AND NOT BAD.

17.41 - racqueljgates

Why are they applauding like that was good?

17.40 - racqueljgates

Viola rocking the natural hair!

 

17.40 - kristenjamaya

Next to Scorcese I meant. Oh my, do the Hollywood citizens LOVE Billy Crystal.

17.39 - kristenjamaya

Oh God there’s singing. And the little girl next to him is so over ALL this.

17.38 - racqueljgates

And now he’s singing. As he does. Yay.

17.37 - kristenjamaya

Eddie Murphy: He is singing “Memories” as he looks at what could have been.

17.37 - racqueljgates

I’m sorry, I’m still stuck on the fact that I just saw blackface. #postracialAmerica

17.36 - kristenjamaya

Oh they are so glad that there’s no one mean spirited or crazy hosting the show this year.

17.36 - racqueljgates

I wonder what Eddie Murphy is doing right now? I mean, besides crying?

17.35 - kristenjamaya

Slowly sipping my beverage as I wait for this little montage to happen…

17.34 - kristenjamaya

Is it blackface? Hmmmm….maybe a little bit?

17.33 - racqueljgates

Um…(is that blackface?)

17.33 - kristenjamaya

I mean….this is what he’s famous for so what’s there to say. Justin Bieber doesn’t look good.

17.32 - racqueljgates

Billy Crystal is boring me already.

17.31 - racqueljgates

“Dignity Personified”

17.31 - racqueljgates

Little known fact: Morgan Freeman has been playing the same character since 1988,

17.31 - kristenjamaya

Otherwise known as the voice of the Visa commercials.

17.31 - kristenjamaya

Welcome everybody! And we begin with….a black man.

17.30 - racqueljgates

Here we go…

17.30 - racqueljgates

Way to be a team player, Warner.

17.29 - kristenjamaya

Do I need to take a picture too? Cause I ain’t.

17.14 - racqueljgates

Oops. Meant to put that on my profile. Lol.

17.10 - racqueljgates

Rockyglasses

17.03 - racqueljgates

Wait, this thing starts at 8:30?

17.02 - Bryce

Server problem – but we’re back up and rocking just in time!

16.38 - racqueljgates

Counting down ’til game time…

16.15 - kristenjamaya

Helloo out there!

15.38 - Bryce

Welcome to the oscars note taker, popcorn?

15.36 - Bryce

George Clooney / Brad Pitt. Holding hands, walking down the carpet. Thanks Chels for that image. [Bryce]

15.31 - Bryce

JC Penny commercial: White nostalgia, African American jazz vocals. #racematters #OscarFem

15.28 - Bryce

SEACREST, GRANDMA HAS A NAME, IT’S MAM TO YOU. [Bryce]

15.26 - Bryce

I feel like my role today will be bashing Ryan Seacrest’s weird gender politics. Would you call someone’s grandpa Papa?! #Nana? #OscarFem #LowHangingFruit [Bryce]

14.55 - Bryce

Hey all, Oscars coming soon. But you’ll need to respond and comment on the twitters, because commenting is closed during live blogging.

13.55 - Karen Estlund

Getting ready for our Fembot viewing of the Oscars!

Commentary provided by Racquel Gates, Assistant Professor at the College of Staten Island, and Kristen Warner, Assistant Professor at the University of Alabama.

February 26, 2012.

Photo courtesy of David Ortmann; edited by Steve Bullock

 

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